So many women I work with start their journey feeling small and unimportant. They say their needs go unnoticed and they’ve no idea how to express what they really want. When it comes to sex, they’re as quiet as church mice and kid themselves they don’t count.

This is what happens when you’ve got no real sexual voice.

Sexually fulfilled women have a powerful sexual voice. They’re totally in tune with themselves and they’re unafraid of how they’re received. Their hearts sing when they express themselves, making them magnetic, open and totally sexually present.

When you’ve got no sexual voice you’ve stopped listening to the parts of yourself that matter the most. Did you know that your sexuality has a beautiful voice and it speaks through your body? Have you ever heard it? Yes, that’s right – your heart, your breasts and your vulva are constantly talking loud and clear. And when you start to listen, they’re yelling at you to wake up and embody the fabulous woman who’s so ready to shine in her sexuality and her life.

There are so many reasons why you’re not listening to your sexual voice.

We women are sensitive souls. We easily absorb shaming messages from culture, the media and our upbringing that dictate what we, as women, should think or feel. When we haven’t enjoyed sex we’re scared that we’re inadequate and our confidence takes a big knock. We become far too used to putting partners first, believing it’s what we must do to make them happy.

And when what we hear, what we experience and what we tell ourselves feels so negative, it’s easier to stay under the radar than stand tall and be counted for who we truly are. That would require stepping out, risking being seen.

In the context of sex and sexuality, this is one of the hardest challenges women face. When we allow crappy external voices and experiences to numb our sexual voice, it becomes habitual to ignore our sexual power and worth, even when we know it means we’re living half a life. When we resonate with small and unimportant, we attract partners and sexual experiences that reinforce how insignificant we’re used to feeling.

What amazes me is that despite how broken or tired women feel, our sexuality keeps talking until we listen.

Our bodies know exactly what makes us feel whole and they’re not going to stop protesting until we take action. They’re asking us to take responsibility, own our sexuality and begin to resonate with the true feminine flame inside. When we do this, we’re finally able to manifest what we want.

I love being alongside women who start to listen to their sexual voice – it’s one of the most rewarding parts of my work.

Although it’s more involved than just choosing a different way, mindset is the first step in the courageous process of listening to your body and working out what that means for your sexual expression and your life. I love making this happen for the women I work with and taking it deeper to catalyze real changes in thinking, feeling and experience.

I love the sound of a self-assured woman talking proudly about how her positive personal changes have boosted not only her sexual expression, pleasure and fulfillment but how other areas of her life have skyrocketed now she’s no longer afraid to show up loud and clear. She’s channeling her sexual voice into her relationships, her social scene, her professional life.

The moment I hear the ownership and authenticity in a woman’s voice when we’re talking about sex I know something’s shifted. She’s never going to feel small or unimportant again. Teaching women the skill of listening to their bodies and showing them how to integrate the powerful sexual messages they hear into their lives feels like a gift every time.